I’m not sure how to answer the ‘how are you?’ question.
I recognize that the appropriate answer is, most of the time, I’m fine, thanks. How are you?
This is what people expect to hear, what they are prepared to digest.
And I AM fine, relatively and mostly. I’m breathing, walking, carrying about in the world. But. But. Tears, just below the skin of everything. A crack, they spill out. The sad runs like an undercurrent, a heartbeat.
Moments in the sunshine, smack of shoe on pavement – in them, I’m infinite. Joyful, inspired, calm.
97 degrees, sweat-slicked and laughing. Mine. These moments are mine.